One day I will miss this mess

Thankful Thursday

After a long week of emotions, feelings of loss, and coming to grips.  I need to remind myself of the things I have to be oh so grateful for.

First and foremost, I am so thankful for my dear husband.   We are opposite in very many ways but together we make the most prefect pair.   James is my rock and biggest cheerleader.  I often wonder how I got so lucky to find him. I need to remind myself of how lucky I am when he is driving me up a wall!

For Sam, he is a my hero and that is no lie.  He is talking so much now and the conversations we have make me smile, giggle and cry at the same time. I just can not believe how grown up he is. I love this little person! 

Wine, how I adore you.  You are my reward after long days.

7:15 pm I adore you, too!  As this is the time my non napping exhausted toddler is asleep.  The house is quiet and the day is done.

Playdates with great friends who keep me sane.

A simple text from a friend who somehow knew I needed to hear what she said.

My gym class.  You are a great stress reliever.  I never knew how much I needed this until this week.

My camera... its photos tell a story. My story... our story... the good and the bad. The story of Cole and Cate.  It tells the story of Sam. The story of James and I.  It tells me that through the lens I can capture the feelings of what is on my heart.  It tells me of how much I have and far I have become. It defines my purpose, my logic and my gratitude.

My Mom and Dad. I mean who else could you call when the day is going to hell?  And they are the best grandparents!

My in-laws! I know there are people who can not stand their in-laws but I am not one of them.  They treat me like a daughter and for that I am grateful.

My dear friends and double dates who keep me laughing!

Sleep..which is what I should be doing now. 4:45 am will be here soon.  Yes, folks that is when our day starts!

Off to bed with a thankful heart!

Halloween admittedly is not a favorite Holiday of mine but I confess this all changed tonight.  Sam and his friend, Liam, went trick or treating for the first time and soon got the hang of what it meant! It was a joy to watch the excitement on his face when they put a piece of candy in his Elmo Easter basket.  Yes, an Elmo Easter basket.  I forgot to get him a Halloween one so we used what we had.  Makes for a good laugh! We went and saw all our friends and received more candy than we will ever eat.  It was  great night for everyone!

Super Sam!

Grandpa, Sam and Murphy

Best friends!

Love these two!

Ute Football Game

Our friends could not use two of their Ute Football tickets and offered them to us!  I do not know who was jumping up and down from excitement me or James!  After a rough start of getting out of the house we headed out.  But we arrived (barely) only to find out we had awesome seats! Excitement is now at an audible sound.
As were were watching the cheerleaders Sam did not move...he was in love.  As they exited the field he asked where the girls where.  And wanted to know where they were the whole game.  He is so his Daddy boy. 
The Utes lost but the day was a blast for us! Sam sat through three quarters and then the cold got to him and we mad a quick exit as the tears were starting to fall.  Yes,  they were from me  because we had to leave.  It was a memorable day for all three of us!  Thanks to friends who knew we would have a blast!

It was cold!

Watching the cheerleaders!

Go Utes! 

  



  

Our adoption of number two failed.

My heart broke into a million pieces when I received the call.  After four failed adoptions we decided that Sam will remain an only child.  He is a huge blessing in our lives and we give him the best life anyone could ask for!  We are blessed to have a healthy, happy, smart, adorable, tender as well as stubborn little boy who delights all he meets.  Though, the thought of not seeing him as a big brother after loving on all babies he sees and holds it is the best decision for our family.  I cleaned out all the baby clothes which were donated or given as hand me downs.  It pained me deeply until I picked up my sweet little boy from school.  As he ran to me when he saw me, tears fell down my cheeks and they feel hard.  As I was trying to gain composure he said, "it okay Mommy...it okay."  Your are very right, Sam with  you in our lives everything is okay! 

We will never forget!

September 11, 2001

Today, we did all Sam's favorite things to celebrate his birthday.  We started the day out at the jump house and ended the night playing put put!  He hit the ball so hard that it flew to the next hole.  We all were laughing including the other family on hole he hit into.  They said he has a future in golf. We all can  hope so!  James and his granddads would be so proud!

We all had  a fantastic time celebrating his day.   We will continue to celebrate all week with a family dinner with James' parents  tomorrow, cupcake making with Granmama on Thursday and friend party on Saturday!  There is doubt we love birthdays around here especially for such a special little guy named Sam.