Today

Dear Cole and Cate,
I was walking up Millcreek today with Sam and Murphy thinking about both of you today.  We passed where we laid your ashes and the tears fell.  And they fell hard.  I miss you both.  I miss what should have been and the what could have been.  As I continue to walk with you and on my mind and Halo playing on the Itouch the tears continued to fall.  Though the tears I also realized how far I have come since last Summer.  I am stronger Mommy and a stronger woman.  I am a better wife.  I am more grateful for what I do have than I have ever been.
Today, I also realized how much you both have taught me. You have taught me to love deeper and hope more.  You have taught me to believe.  You have taught me that to see the rainbow through the rain.
I love you, Cole and Cate.  You are never far from my mind or my heart. 
Kisses my little ones and as always all my love.
Until we meet again,
Mommy

Thankful!

I have been reading on another blog and she posts what she is thankful for every week. My hope is that it will be a reminder for me on a weekly basis on how very blessed I am. 
Thankful for:
* Genetic Tylenol
* My mom and dad who took Sam for an afternoon after a very rough night
* Two little teeth
* The babies' tree is in full bloom and is stunning
* Brother and sister-in-law who adore Sam

* Dirt therapy heals the soul and my garden is fabulous this year.
* Giggles and smiles

* Our 1st family vacation

* My darling husband who did the night time routine with Sam last night 
* Finger foods and messes make my heart smile 

9 months