Thursday, March 4, 2010

March 27 and April 11, 2010 will be 1 year...

since Cole and Cate left us. I wrote this for our Share Walk in October. Tonight, I am sad to be planning their anniversaries so I thought I would post our Share Walk letter.


Dear Cole and Cate,

Today, my little ones, we are walking in remembrance of all the little babies who have left this world too soon. And today, my dear babies, I miss you more than words can convey. I cannot believe it has been six months since I held you. Six months since I kissed you hands and counted your toes. Six months since I gave birth to you and you were placed in my arms… so little and silent. In those six months, Cole and Cate, I have grown to understand why you left us. I have learned that I can handle more than I thought I could. I have learned your little lives will continue on and your story will never be forgotten. I have learned that God does hear prayers. I have learned that friends that who have also lost their little ones have been my lifelines when the hurt of a broken heart sends me to the ground. I have learned that I do have guardian angles that watch over me daily. I have learned that Sam is here because of that. I have learned that Daddy and I are one awesome team. I have learned to more appreciative and less critical. I have learned that love continues on. I have learned to live without you. In those first months I did not know how to live but today do. I have learned my heart will never be whole again but it is healing. I have learned the true meaning of having a grateful heart. I will always miss you, love you, and ache to hold you but I have learned that one day we will meet again.

I will walk today with you on my mind and forever in my heart. Today, I will tell your story to those who have not met you. Today I will release a pink balloon for you Cate and a blue one for you, Cole. Today, Daddy and I will walk with all the other Mommies and Daddies who are missing their babies so please help us all to be courageous.

Above all know how much we love you! Kisses and loves my little ones! Thanks for continuing to watch over us!

Always and forever,

Mommy

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