Today, is a very difficult day and my heart is heavy. I am very much missing my babies, and my Jaxson. We went to Strut Your Mutt this morning with Murphy and Ryley, though it was fun to see the boys having a great time my heart was aching for my Jaxson. He loved Strut as he was often one of the biggest dogs there so he received a lot of attention and love. Not only was my heart sad for Jax but I was not even going to walk this year as I would have been very pregnant but atlas I was there walking with all the other Mommies, strollers, and hearing newborn cries. Seeing dads with their babies in backpacks, in wagons, and holding chubby little hands. And there I was trying not to cry over the hurt of seeing it all. Missing my babies and my big loveable Jax.
While James was in line with Murphy I sat down on the cool grass with Ry, who was exhausted and hot, and a little girl named Jordan introduced herself. She said she was four and she wanted to pet my dog. She sat down beside me and we talked for a long time. She had huge brown eyes, her ponytail was halfway undone, dirty feet, and painted toenails. She was very beautiful! I wondered if Cate would have been like that. I know she would have dirty little feet just like Jordan as she would have been playing with Cole in the dirt. Just like their Mommy. And Cate's hair would have been half way undone, too. I wish I would have enough strength to tell Jordan's mom what a beautiful little girl she was raising but I did not, and they walked away while my heart broke in a million pieces.
I miss my babies, and my Jaxson. Today is a difficult day.
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